Romance.

Tonight God feels so real to me. For so long I have felt so far away from Him. I didn't know where He was or what He wanted me to do exactly, I didn't know how to pray or how to listen to Him. I just felt completely off. I'd felt like that for a long time.
But tonight at Varsity He showed up in such a powerful way. I won't ever forget tonight. However, first I'm going to talk about New York. Last week I went on a trip to New York with a team to a Christian dance event called Project Dance. I knew for a long time that I was supposed to go to this, but I had no idea why. And when I would ask God, I just felt like He would say that I would find out later...anyway. Project Dance was organized to unify Christian dancers, and they have these events where dancers come from all over to worship together, perform, and take classes. This all happens over one weekend. So the first thing that happens after you get registered at a Project Dance event is there's this service called Project Dance Live. All of the dancers go and they see performances of Christian dance companies and artists, and then there is a time of worship. I knew that people were going to dance during this time, but I didn't exactly know what to expect. What it is is there's a band and a singer making music and then the actual worship leaders are dancing. They lead the worship with dance! Just like in a regular church the worship leaders sing. These people danced. And the whole night I felt so free. I went to the back of the room and danced my heart out before God. Most of the time I don't even think I was aware of what I was doing, God just swept me away and showed me His beauty. It was wonderful. I went up to the front and one of the worship dancers prayed over me. Even now I don't know what she said but she laid her hands on my ears and I feel that that is significant. After the worship was over, I asked the same girl to pray over my foot because I was having some pain problems with it and we were to perform the next day. Well, she prayed and I don't remember feeling any pain during our performance. Praise God.
Anyway, when we were walking home from that service I remember feeling that something important had gone on there. I had such a burden to dance for my Jesus. I felt His presence so strongly that night.
Ok, fast forward to tonight. I go to Varsity, and the worship starts, and a few songs into it I feel God tugging on my heart to move over to the side (where there was room) and dance. I hesitated at first but then I went over there and danced. As I was dancing I felt God's presence come down on me. My hands began to shake and I felt the weight of God's presence on me. I knew He was there right beside me. So then, worship ends, and Grant (an intern at Varsity) gets up to preach. He preached a great message about spending time with God and learning to feed ourselves spiritually. But here's where it gets cool - after he gets done, he starts speaking to Claire about her dancing! He said he'd had a vision of her dancing before an evil army, waving a flag that said, "Freedom." And he said as she waived the flag that the army was just dropping down and getting defeated by her dancing. Then he turned to me and spoke over me saying that when I danced, he got the word, "Romance." He said that he felt God was wanting to romance me when I danced, and that God wanted to love on me as His child through my dancing and that there was such a pure love that went on as I danced to worship God. He went on to talk to Danielle about how he felt that she was getting a seed planted in her even then to grow in her dancing for God.
HOW AWESOME!!!! God told Grant to speak to the dancers! It's hard to believe. It was so powerful to have someone speak over my life like that. What he said was something that I've felt for a long time but never known how to express it.
God's been speaking to me about how dance is my medium to praise Him. I know that God is going to dance through me, and dance through my life. Another awesome thing God did - for the past few days I've been dealing with some sniffles and some cold type symptoms and after the service I noticed that there were no more symptoms! God healed me tonight and blessed me so much more. On the way home He was telling me that my dancing brought my healing, and is going to bring healing, and that when I danced that I would show generations of people that they have the freedom to dance! Yay God!
I feel so full of His presence right now. He's speaking to me more and more about how every moment can be a God moment. Everything, from doing my homework, to brushing my teeth, to driving around, to dancing can be done to His glory! Praise God!
Needless to say, I'm so in awe of Him at this moment. I know why I went to New York now! I know that if I had not have had that experience in New York that I wouldn't have had the boldness to dance tonight and I wouldn't have gotten these words I'm getting from God. I'm amazed at how God set this all up. How He used people and words to speak into my life. I'm so amazed. I know that I can dance for Him with all that I have now! I know that's what I'm called to do. I know that's what He wants. I can't wait to see what will become of this, but I get to dance for God's glory on earth! God wants to romance me. ME. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around, but I love Him so much and I'm so ready for Him to move me forward. What a wonderful God. How amazing that He even acknowledges me, yet even more amazing that He wants to know me and romance me! God, you are unfathomably great!

(Ok, this post may seem a little over-explanatory, but that's just because I didn't know who would be reading it.)